PRO-CHOICE

DISCLAIMER- This is going to piss some people off. But I encourage you to either stop reading now, or completely hear me out. Thanks-

I am pro-choice. I am not pro-abortion. & I am not "pro-murder". But I firmly believe in the RIGHT that woman have to choose whether or not to parent, place a child for adoption or have an abortion.

Let me start by saying, I would not have an abortion, nor would I have ever, at any point in my sexually-active life had an abortion had I become pregnant. BUT- I have an incredibly amazing and supportive family. I know in my heart that my family would have guided me, supported me, and encouraged me every step of the way. I also know that not every one has families like mine.

I would also like to say that I am PRO-ADOPTION. & I believe that adoption is the right choice for many, many women and families. For those of you who know me well, know that I have PCOS which causes infertility. I hope that one day, when we are ready to adopt (whether we have biological children are not) that a very selfless woman places her child in our lives.

But adoption is not the right choice for many. And neither is parenting. & it saddens me that people cant see that. I know that, interning at DHR, I have a very unique perspective. & I would like to share a few of the things I have encountered: (I would also like to say that this is a very personal perspective, and I am not speaking on the behalf of anyone other than myself)

• During my first month or so at DHR, I was working on a case where 2 MIDDLE SCHOOL girls were prostituting for drugs and money during school hours. One of the girls reported being raped twice. Both girls ended up pregnant at 14 and 15 YEARS OLD. Now the mothers, and all of the children are in custody of the state. So, pro-life people, are you in support of providing these mothers with parenting classes? with food stamps? housing? cash? transportation? medicaid?  
  & Regardless of the services that are being offered- what kind of life do you think these girls have? THEY HAVE NO HOME. They have no stability.

• I saw this on my facebook the other day... & let me tell you- You do not know what sad is until you come across a child that has ACTUALLY been shot.
   I met a young man the other day that was SHOT in the CHEST when he a toddler....Luckily the bullet got lodged in his ribcage, and it was not fatal, but he will likely have complications for the rest of his life.
  YEARS later the mother of this child showed up at DHR and told a worker that DHR "better take custody" because she didnt want him anymore. He is now in his teens and is in desperate need of a permanent home. ((Let me ask you, right now, do YOU have what it takes to adopt a child that has been neglected or abused? What about a teenager?))

• I also met a beautiful young boy that broke my heart. 30 seconds before I met my sweet friend, I learned that he WITNESSED his brothers murder. His little brother was literally beaten to death.

I could sit here all day and list sad stories for you. I am not saying that these children should have been aborted, because they are all wonderful children. But I am saying that shaming a woman into parenting her children is not the right thing to do. Think about about kind of life a child would have when you "save" it at the abortion clinic.

Because, my opinion is, that you can show up to an abortion clinic and change some one's mind, but you arent doing anything to change their situation. Believe it or not, not all women who choose abortion are heartless, selfish bitches.

And if you still feel really inclined to 'save' these babies, why dont you try also making a difference in a child's life that is ALREADY on this earth? Have you ever considered a Big Brother/Big Sister program? Tutoring an at-risk child? Being a positive influence on children that dont have parents? Fostering a child or children? What about adopting?
And if you cant do any of that, what about SUPPORTING the programs that are out there to help young/single/jobless/[insert word here] women and families? ((And Im not just talking about Sav-A-Life))

 

 

I would like to end by saying that I dont think Pro-Life people are bad people. I think that saving children is a noble thing. (Hey, Im all about saving babies) I just wanted to offer my Pro-life FRIENDS a different perspective. (Because, I hope you are still my friends)

 

I support a woman's right to choose. I am pro-choice.

With Love: My Internship at DHR

                

So many people have asked me what I’ve thought about my internship. And let me tell you- it’s been a rollercoaster. I have had literally one of the best days of my life (seeing an adoption finalized), and I have had one particularly bad day when I cried for hours in my office because I wanted to bring home a 14 year old girl.

But this is my calling, yall. This is what I was put on this earth to do. & if you want to hear about my actual interning experience, I will be happy to tell you about it. But right now, I want to share with you how this experience has changed my life.

The first thing I learned was how to do things with love- no matter what the task. For example, a worker came into my office and asked that I wash a 15 year old girl’s clothes before she went into a residential facility.

I don’t know the exact circumstances as to why her clothes arrived like they did (dirty, shoved in a suite case, unfolded, some in trash bags and a lot of them moldy.) but I decided to do this as a labor of love. I will be the first to admit, I do not particularly enjoy doing laundry. But on that day, something pulled at my heart. I remember being 15. I remember what it was like. & I cannot imagine being in this child’s situation.

So for an entire afternoon I sorted, washed, dried, folded and packed for this sweet girl. Suddenly I stopped resenting this worker for making ME wash the clothes and realized that I was enjoying myself. And I imagined that, for just a second, that sweet girl opening her suitcase and seeing clean, folded clothes and realizing that someone cared enough about her to send her clean clothes. (It’s hard for me to grasp something this simple)

She will never know who did it, or that I got off late because I was waiting on a load of clothes to dry and hell, she may not even appreciate it, but I like to think that she did. I guess the point is, is that it’s all about perspective.  

I also learned that literally 15 minutes can make an impact on a child’s life. There were several days that I took a 14 year old girl to school. During our rides in the car, I developed a bond with this girl. And all it took was me asking her about her day, about school, and her foster home, and listening. And on the third of fourth day of going to school, she told me how much she liked riding with me in the car. This 14 year old appreciated the things that were so little- like me getting her to school on time, and laughing with her in the car.

And the other day, she saw me in the office and ran down the hall to give me a hug. & I thought okay, I am doing something right. This is the kind of social worker I want to be.

That hug was the reason I got in to social work. I know that kids need food and shelter and clean water. But they need so much more than that. They need someone who cares, and good role model. I knew that I had made an impact on this girl’s life, just by spending a few minutes in the car with her in the mornings.

Probably the most important thing that I’ve realized is that I am lucky. I am so beyond lucky. I am also incredibly sheltered. Prostitution, Drugs, Involvement with the law. Sure, I knew that happened. But in MIDDLE SCHOOLS? In MOBILE COUNTY? WHAT!?! I didn’t think that existed in my little sheltered world. I.Had.No.Idea.

This internship has been a wake up call- one that I probably needed. Today I can honestly say I am more thankful for the basic things I used to take for granted.

But more than anything else- it was confirmed that this is what I need to be doing with my life. Some days it is so hard being an intern because I don’t get to see things all the way through. ((For example, I know long after I leave here, I am going to be wondering about my sweet little friend that I took to school)). & believe me, some days I take all this shit home. It weighs heavy on my heart.

But that heavy heart has inspired me to be more involved in my community. I desperately want to be a foster parent (just ask Chris. This is an every day conversation), but I know that, especially being in school, it just isn’t feasible at this time. But that doesn’t mean I can’t do something. I am seriously looking in to getting involved in a Big Brothers Big Sisters program. Or finding something where I can volunteer/work/play and make a difference. It would probably be December before I can fully commit to something, but I am steadily gathering information to see what I want to do when the time comes. . If anybody has any ideas, suggestions, experience, I would love to hear about it.

To My Sister

To my sister:   I am so proud of you, and so lucky to call you my sister. I cannot believe it's time for you to move away to college. College has been one of the best experiences of my life; I hope you enjoy every moment of it. So before you pack your last suit case, load up the car, and start your life out on your own, I hope youll read this letter. And I hope it brings you comfort and strength.

Lauren:
    College is about so much more than finding your career path. Even though, I hope you find something you love and something you are passionate about. But more than that, I hope you find who you are. I hope you find out what defines you. Cheer leading, sororities, late night parties- they come and go. But leadership skills, your heart, your passion- they stay. And they will be invaluable to you for the rest of your life. Take time to nurture them and help them grow.
    I hope you make good grades, and take some hard classes. I hope you stay up all night trying to finish a paper. But I also hope that you stay out too late and still make your 8 am class.... or sleep in.
   I hope that you mess up sometimes. Because when you are out on your own, you'll have to learn how to fix your mistakes. You'll come out a stronger person because of it. And when you are knee deep in papers, falling asleep at your desk, I hope you take a deep breath ((and a coffee break)) and remember You will make it. Its just a test. Its just a paper. Its just a grade. They do not define you.
    I hope you eat Ramen noodles. You'll suddenly appreciate all those time Dad made fillets.... Hell. You'll even learn to appreciate taco night. ;)
    I hope you learn to cook. And I hope you find the perfect balance between having the body of your dreams and eating a giant greasy burger with fried onion rings on top.
    I hope you push the boundaries. I hope you experiment. Believe me, after college, there arent many opportunities to see how many jello shots you can finish in one sitting. Be smart, Be safe, and learn your limits. Have fun.
    I hope you make many new friends, and still make time for your friends from high school. I hope you let people in. I hope you have real relationships with people. Those are the ones that last. Dont get caught up in following the crowd.
I hope you learn to do more than tolerate people who are different than you. I hope you learn from them, and accept them. I mostly hope that you'll go into this experience with an open heart, and an open mind. Give people a chance. Many will surprise you.
    I hope you learn something about faith- about your own faith, about other's faith. I hope you question what others believe, and listen and learn with open ears and and open heart. And even if you dont agree with what they have to say, I hope you still love them like you do your brothers & sisters in Christ. I hope you question what you believe. I hope you seek answers. & I hope that it makes your faith only grow stronger. I hope you find that Science & Religion can coexist.
    But more than anything else, I hope you learn. I hope you learn in the classroom, and far beyond it. I hope you are never afraid to ask questions to better understand. Or to challenge what you are being taught. Speak up. Engage. THATS how you learn...
    But I hope that isnt enough. While I do hope you graduate in 4 years, I hope you are never satisfy your desire to learn.
   I hope you experience happiness in its purest forms. I hope that, over the next four years, you do something for someone that they can never repay you for. I hope you are active on campus, and in the community. I hope you get involved with something meaningful, and feel like you are apart of something bigger than yourself.
   I hope you love every minute of college! Its going to be such a wonderful experience. I cant wait to hear all the stories you have when you come home. And speaking of that- Dont forget to call Mom every once and a while. And not just when you need to know how to turn on the stove, or when you're out of money. She's going to miss you more than you know.
    I love you, LaurLaur.

Whitney

Our Wedding Day

In honor of our 2 month wedding anniversary (and before I forget), Id like to share the behind-the scene details of our wedding. This may be a long one... Enjoy!

Night Before:
We attempted to have a rehearsal at Space 301 the night before the wedding, but Im not so sure we actually rehearsed. We spent much more time trying to decorate the little house structure in the middle of the gallery.

After said "rehearsal" we headed to Bike Shop. The Bike Shop was the PERFECT place for our rehearsal dinner. It was super casual, and the food and drinks are incredible.

We had a four course dinner: Chips, Guac & Salsa to start, a delicious Mexican-style salad, an entree of Chicken Empandas, Fish Tacos & a beef burrito, and to finish- the most delicious mousse Ive ever had. It was "chocolate chili mousse." Yummm!
Plus the margaritas were phenomenal. It was a perfect evening.

Morning of:
I was so excited I woke up at around 6. I tried to lay in bed and be quiet until 7, but that didnt happen. I finally just got up, got a shower, and ordered room service. ((We were staying at the Battle House)).
After Chris got a shower, and we had breakfast, I gathered all of my stuff and headed to get my hair done.
Pam, at Image Salon, did a great job! She started my morning off with some wine & a great hair do. I love my Pammie. I was so calm, nothing bothered me the morning of my wedding.

Lunch time:
Around lunch time, my bridesmaids/man, my grandmothers, and my mom all gathered at the Portier House to have some lunch, and start getting dressed before the photographer arrived. Well, we were all supposed to anyway. William was such a sweet heart & he skipped lunch to finish setting up the wedding space.

Let the Count Down begin:

Melinda Mercer (photographer) arrived right at 2:00 to start photos. WE TOOK SO MANY. Getting in the dress,

my garter, rings, vows, letter, shoes, and every other small detail.

I know I will be so glad I have those to look back on one day. Melinda is amazing. & So is her husband, David. They are an incredible pair.

After my bridal portraits, and photos with my bridesmaids/man,

I was so ready to see Chris... and he was OVER AN HOUR LATE. So I was getting really grouchy. When he finally called and said, Im outside, the real fun of the day started.

There are simply no words to describe the emotions I had when I saw Chris for the first time. I wanted to be mad that he was late, but I was so OVER JOYED, and anxious, and overwhelmed with love. It was one of my favorite moments of my life. It went something like this...

Chris called and said he was outside. A few people rushed to the windows to cover them, and make sure I didnt get a peak.

Lauren ran outside to see Chris. She wanted a front row seat. & When the door opened for me to go outside, I was so SO excited! I could see Lauren from the reflection in the mirror, and she had the BIGGEST smile on her face. I practically ran outside- with the silliest grin on my face- and straight into Chris's arms.

We both cried. And cried. And Kissed. And cried. And hugged. I finally started laughing, and Chris just kept crying. It was the sweetest moment probably ever. I wanted to just hug him and never let go. I was SO happy.
From there we took 10,000 more pictures. With each other, with the bridal party, with our families, in the ambulance. Everything.

Speaking of ambulance- that was one of my favorite details of the day. I requested our "get away car" to be the 1953 Pontiac Ambulance that Chris's uncle restored. I thought it was beautiful & special to have.

An hour before:
About an hour before the wedding, Chris's sister, Debbie, offered to let me wear their mothers pearls. Oh Dear God. I was such a mess. Throughout the whole wedding planning process, every time we talked about Anne, he cried, I cried, we both cried. I know Chris wanted his mother to see him on his wedding day. And it was so special for me to have something of hers on our wedding day.

After that, Chris and I separated so we could still have a special moment walking down the aisle. I waited & waited. And asked about 1000 times "What time is it?" "How many minutes do I have left?" "OH MY GOD DO WE ONLY HAVE 5 MORE MINUTES?"
About 20 minutes before walking down the aisle, I started to FREAK OUT. All of my nerves from the past year and a half decided to come out at that moment. I walked in circles. I sat down. Stood up. Drank some water. Had to pee a bunch of times in my large dress. I was nervous, but I was ready.

Walking down the aisle:
Walking down the aisle was another favorite moment of the day. After everyone left Portier House, it was just my dad and me. And I was in full on freak out mode. As soon as we hit the steps of Portier House, Dad and I had this conversation:
Dad: I love you baby
Me: I love you too, Dad. I think Im going to cry. FOR REAL DAD IM ABOUT TO CRY. OH GOD IM GOING TO CRY
Dad: Its okay, baby, you can cry.
And then I cried all the way to Space 301. I wasnt sad, I was just experiencing every emotion imaginable at once. Overwhelmed is the best word I have.

But once I entered Space 301, I took a big deep breath, and walked down the aisle.

Prior to that, I had never had an experience where I literally saw only one person in a room full of people. It happened on my wedding day. I saw Chris, and focused on him, and we could have been the only two people in the whole world.

The Ceremony:
Chris and I were so beyond blessed to have my grandfather preform our ceremony. He did such an exceptional job. He talked about marriage, and the commitment it entails. He talked about love, and how it never fails. He even talked about what happens "When A Man Loves A Woman".

When it came time for our vows (which you can find HERE if you missed them) I was shaking. I was so excited to hear Chris's vows, and so nervous to say mine. I was so scared that mine wouldnt be as good as his. Fortunately for both of us, the vows were so beautiful. It was the highlight of the day.

After vows we exchanged rings, and put letters in our wine box to open in 10 years. We were pronounced Husband & Wife!, had our first kiss, and got ready to party.

Reception:
We entered our GORGEOUS reception space, and went straight in to our first dance- "Crazy Love"- Michael Buble. After dancing, we grabbed a small bite to eat, and mingled with our guests. This was really our first opportunity to see who was there, and chit chat a little.

After everyone got something to eat, and got a few drinks, it was time to cut the cake. And Oh my gosh, not only was our cake beautiful, but it tasted good too!

Then it was time for the toasts. My dad talked about how lucky our family is to have Chris, and how I'll always be his little girl. (I cried). Suzanne told the story of how Chris and I met. (I cried, agian). And Justin gave such a touching speech that ended with "I hope today, your wedding day, is the day that you two love each other the least" (And I REALLY cried).
Right after toasts, Dad and I danced to Steven Curtis Chapman's Cinderella. There was more crying. From me, and Dad. And Mom. And Chris. And Im pretty sure anyone else who listened to the song probably cried too.

Chris threw the garter, I threw my bouquet. We played the 'shoe game'. And we danced and drank and danced some more. And before I knew it, it was time to leave.

And by the time we were leaving, I was kind of tipsy. So I recruited everyone to go to The Bar.

We literally left our wedding in an ambulance, and got dropped of at The Bar. Perfect.

After the wedding:

We went to The Bar with a bunch of people. But I couldnt tell you who. We had a really good time, from what I understand. I think we only stayed a few minutes. When I started to read the Lagniappe in The Bar, it was time to head back to the hotel.

Our wedding was so perfect. I loved every minute of our special day. But as much as I loved our wedding day, I love our marriage more.  I am so lucky to have Chris as my husband! And these past two months have been incredible. Our love is growing stronger every day.

Honeymoonin': Part 2: Punta Cana, Dominican Repbulic

So our first 5 days in Cabarete were AMAZING. & Action filled. The last 5 days we relaxed on the beautiful beaches of Punta Cana & recovered from all of the billion things we've had going on these last few months.

Day 6:
We drug ourselves out of bed, had breakfast & got in the car to start our what-I-thought-would be 5 hour journey to Punta Cana.
The first 3 hours were easy. Chris read, I journaled, and napped. I also spent an obscene amount of time staring out the window debating on if it was beautiful because of the beaches & mountains or sad because of the rampant poverty.
Anyway. About half way there, we went through *another* toll with scary looking men with machine guns & as soon as we were on the other side, our driver pulled over, told us to get out & we switched cabs with some other random couple. Hmmm. Thankfully this wasn't the first time that this happened to us, so I was a little prepared.

Taxi-man numero dos offered to stop somewhere so we could eat. YES. He stopped at a weird gas station/cafeteria place. Whatevs. We ate. It was on the water, & the view was nice.

A bunch of hours later when I was getting restless, I also started to get car sick. I was really close to vomiting in the van. Maybe I shouldnt have eaten at the gas station....

But, we finally arrived at the Hard Rock. Our check in was WONDERFUL. It only took a few minutes, and we were served drinks within 5 minutes of walking in the door. Outstanding front desk service.

& when Chris asked if there were any upgrades to the concierge level rooms the man said

"I cannot upgrade you to the concierge level. But. I will put you in a presidential suite." WHAT. PARTY AT OUR ROOM. I was excited then, but I was REALLY excited when I saw our room!!!

& this was the view from our balcony!

After I took in every bit of our room, we took a walk around the property to check out the beach & find some dinner.

That night we ate at a Brazilian Steakhouse. Yum.

Day 7:

Tuesday we woke up early and hit the pool... and beach... and bar...

After a few hours of sun, we showered & headed to the spa. I loved loved loved my pre-massage experience. Steam room. Sauna. Weird Shower. Ice Room. Mud Room. Shower. Snacks. Then massage. It was perfect. & Chris made a lady friend named Awilda. Uh-wil-DUH. Ask him about her.

& when we made it back to the room, they had us a honeymoon cake & champagne waiting. Holllla.

After more showers & getting ready, we attempted to go to a hibachi dinner. I say attempted because we showed up at 8, and they wouldnt put us on a waiting list because "they close at 10." Well, lady. You dont know who youre dealing with. After I threw a little pity party, we walked across the street to the Italian place. It was fine. We ate veal. & drank a bottle of wine.

Day 8:

Ohhh day 8. What a bitter sweet day.

Chris & I got up EARLY to go to the Eden pool. I really really wanted to snag one of those fancy little swinging beds... So we did. & when the bar opened at 10 am, I was first in line. Caipirinahs will be the death of me.

By noon I was passed out in the swinging bed. Chris woke me up to eat, I napped some more, and then we hung out in the pool all day. & since we didnt have any small bills & noone would give us change, the bartenders were like our bffs.

I stopped drinking after lunch, because I was so hammered that I could ride out the rest of the day with no problem. Chris however.... lets just say by 5:00 we had to get out of the pool because I was scared he would drown.

I promised some other honeymooning couple that we would meet them for hibachi at 6:30.... we barely made it...

So we start eating our sushi app, and it was delicious. & then someone asked "Does anybody want mine?" OH YES. US. DRUNKS IN THE CORNER!! RIGHT HERE.

We made it through dinner, found our way back to our room & called it a night.... Or so I thought.

20 minutes later, I started to feel realllllly bad. I was pacing around & sweating. About the time I yelled loud enough for Chris to wake up, I was vomiting everywhere.

I though I would feel better afterwards, and then I could go back to sleep... I was wrong. GOD I WAS WRONG. I threw up every few minutes for the next 5 hours. Sushi was probably a bad idea.

Chris was so sweet though, he made me us a pallet on the floor so we could sleep next to the potty. Around 3:30-4:00 we were able to go back to bed. Ughh. It was a long night

Day 9:

6:50AM: *RING RING RING RING* "Excuse me, sir, your honeymooners breakfast-in-bed is being delivered" *CLICK*

7:00AM: *BANG BANG BANG BANG* *!#$%

I finally dragged myself out of bed and made it to the table ((liars- they said it would be in bed... they were probably repulsed by the smell of our room and threw it down at the closest available spot)).

Breakfast was salmon & cream cheese bagels, an egg, bacon & ham omelet, fruit, bread, juice & champagne.

Normally, Id be like YEAHFOOD! But I mostly just pushed my food around & tried not to puke anymore.

I went back to sleep until lunchtime & then we headed to the beach.

That evening we had our honeymooners dinner. It was okay. The shrimp were good. I almost punched the waiter when he asked Chris how I wanted MY steak cooked. Excuse me, but I can order for myself. I am not a child.

Day 10:

Our last day in Punta Cana we decided to go on a snorkle/party boat. It was pretty much awful. But we made the best of it. We got to meet a few other couples who were also making the best of it. & a few people who had clearly never been on a boat and or see a fish.

We also met some people FROM MOBILE. & it was some crazy ass story about it being the girls wedding day & calling off the wedding & still going on her honeymoon & "Mami" was beyond toasted. But no matter how hard I try to relay the story, it will never be funny to anyone who wasnt there.

We did end up partying with them that night though.

Day 11:

Saturday we spent the whole day traveling home. We had a super long layover in Miami, but it was all good. We were both ready to be home & see Mobley!!

Punta Cana was great, but I have to say, I enjoyed Cabarete more. Our resort was very, very nice, but we didnt get to see any of the "real Dominican Republic" there.

Although, I DID enjoy the all-inclusive part of it.

I think we had a perfect honeymoon. I know we will cherish these memories forever. :)