Pain Scale: 6

I feel like my insides are about to pop. My right ovary has this reoccuring stabbing pain that comes and goes every few seconds to every few minutes. It started at lunch time when Chris and I were eating some delicious sushi, and BAM out of nowhere it was like pain you cannot immagine.
There was a point in time today that I seriously considered going to the hospital- the bullshit pain medicine my doctor gave me is like glorified tylenol. But when I get to the point that I actually convince myself to take something for the pain, its usually way too intense for tylenol to touch. Needless to say, the Tramadol the doctor gave me didnt do a damn thing to help me out today. All it did was make me feel weak in my stomach and made me thirsty.
But every time I think about the hospital I think about the pain scale and how confusing it is. I mean, how could the worst pain i could possibly immagine be on the same page as an cyst rupturing? It confuses me to no end. That is why I love this: (Go check out this blog! You will laugh your ass off!)


You've probably seen some version of that chart before.  You may also have noticed how inadequate it is at helping you.  Based on the faces, this is my interpretation of the chart:

0:  Haha!  I'm not wearing any pants!

2:  Awesome!  Someone just offered me a free hot dog!

4:  Huh.  I never knew that about giraffes.

6:  I'm sorry about your cat, but can we talk about something else now?  I'm bored.

8:  The ice cream I bought barely has any cookie dough chunks in it.  This is not what I expected and I am disappointed.

10:You hurt my feelings and now I'm crying!

 None of that is medically useful and it doesn't even have all the numbers, so I made a better one with all the numbers:

0:  Hi.  I am not experiencing any pain at all.  I don't know why I'm even here.

1:  I am completely unsure whether I am experiencing pain or itching or maybe I just have a bad taste in my mouth.

2:  I probably just need a Band Aid.

3:  This is distressing.  I don't want this to be happening to me at all.

4:  My pain is not fucking around.

5:  Why is this happening to me??

6:  Ow.  Okay, my pain is super legit now.

7:  I see Jesus coming for me and I'm scared.   

8:  I am experiencing a disturbing amount of pain.  I might actually be dying.  Please help.

9:  I am almost definitely dying.

10:  I am actively being mauled by a bear.

11: Blood is going to explode out of my face at any moment.

Too Serious For Numbers:  You probably have ebola.  It appears that you may also be suffering from Stigmata and/or pinkeye.

Anyway. That always makes me laugh; I needed it today. Especially because I just finished reading another heartwrenching Jodi Picoult novel- Sing You Home- about a woman that has PCOS and was never able to have kids. I cried my eyes out in the sauna at the gym. Yeah, it was THAT kind of day.

But I know that tomorrow will be a better day. I am really looking forward to having lunch with Chris and hopefully him coming home early enough for us to play Yatzee and have a glass of wine.

& Yesterday was a good day too. I went on a fabuous dinner date with two of my favorite people, Lindsay & Alisa! We went to Fuego, had some margaritas, dinner and girl talk. I love it when we get together!

As for tonight though, Im going to just lay around on the couch, drink a glass of wine, and watch a movie until its time for bed.

Good night everybody!