Bad Day

If a doctor told me right this minute that I needed a hysterectomy, I wouldnt second guess it. I would do it. Right this minute. I am in so much pain I feel like I am seriously dieing.
In between screaming and tears, I told Chris that today. He looked at me all sad and asked if thats what I really wanted... Of course I dont want that. I am just so over being in pain from my ovaries. And what sucks the most is that when the physical pain is gone, the emotional pain hits me like a ton of bricks. I hate knowing that there is something wrong with my body... something I cant fix. I hate that whatever is wrong could prevent me from having children one day. I want kids, WE want kids. Not any time soon, but that doesnt make it any easier to deal with.
UGHHHHH I just want to scream.

Other than today, these past few days have been great. I've gotten to spend a lot of time with Chris, and we've been really working hard together to lose weight. We've been eating right, for the most part, and working out every day. I love the feeling when we finish a work out together. I feel so accomplished. And it really helps to have somebody do it with you. For example, the other day Chris and I worked out at Cottage Hill Park. I got to pick half of the work out and Chris picked half. For my work outs, we went to the baseball field and sprinted the bases, and at every base we stopped for 25 jumping jacks. After that we ran 10 sets of stairs, did 25 squat jumps up 2 stairs, and found a hill and did lunges up the hill 5 times. Chris decided on a jog for the last part of the work out. Neither of us are 'runners' but it was such a GOOD start!! When we were running the trails Chris kept pushing me. He'd say '30 more yards! Come on!' and at one point I started to stop and he yelled "You can hear the cars, we are almost to the end! KEEP GOING!" And I did. And when we finished I was so proud of both of us.  It wasnt a long work out, only 45 minutes, but I felt amazing afterwards.
We are also doing our own "boot camps" at home. Basically we are doing work outs that build muscle and keep your heart rate up at the same time. We welcome all of our friends to come over and join us whenever! Next work out is going to be around 9-9:30 on Thursday! Just bring a big ass bottle of water!
I'll end on a positive note since the first half of this blog was a giant rant- in the last 4 weeks, I've lost 12lbs! I never really denied myself of food, I just ate better and worked out. If you want to see exactly what I did, I have a whole (boring) blog about it- here.