So many people have asked me what I’ve thought about my internship. And let me tell you- it’s been a rollercoaster. I have had literally one of the best days of my life (seeing an adoption finalized), and I have had one particularly bad day when I cried for hours in my office because I wanted to bring home a 14 year old girl.
But this is my calling, yall. This is what I was put on this earth to do. & if you want to hear about my actual interning experience, I will be happy to tell you about it. But right now, I want to share with you how this experience has changed my life.
The first thing I learned was how to do things with love- no matter what the task. For example, a worker came into my office and asked that I wash a 15 year old girl’s clothes before she went into a residential facility.
I don’t know the exact circumstances as to why her clothes arrived like they did (dirty, shoved in a suite case, unfolded, some in trash bags and a lot of them moldy.) but I decided to do this as a labor of love. I will be the first to admit, I do not particularly enjoy doing laundry. But on that day, something pulled at my heart. I remember being 15. I remember what it was like. & I cannot imagine being in this child’s situation.
So for an entire afternoon I sorted, washed, dried, folded and packed for this sweet girl. Suddenly I stopped resenting this worker for making ME wash the clothes and realized that I was enjoying myself. And I imagined that, for just a second, that sweet girl opening her suitcase and seeing clean, folded clothes and realizing that someone cared enough about her to send her clean clothes. (It’s hard for me to grasp something this simple)
She will never know who did it, or that I got off late because I was waiting on a load of clothes to dry and hell, she may not even appreciate it, but I like to think that she did. I guess the point is, is that it’s all about perspective.
I also learned that literally 15 minutes can make an impact on a child’s life. There were several days that I took a 14 year old girl to school. During our rides in the car, I developed a bond with this girl. And all it took was me asking her about her day, about school, and her foster home, and listening. And on the third of fourth day of going to school, she told me how much she liked riding with me in the car. This 14 year old appreciated the things that were so little- like me getting her to school on time, and laughing with her in the car.
And the other day, she saw me in the office and ran down the hall to give me a hug. & I thought okay, I am doing something right. This is the kind of social worker I want to be.
That hug was the reason I got in to social work. I know that kids need food and shelter and clean water. But they need so much more than that. They need someone who cares, and good role model. I knew that I had made an impact on this girl’s life, just by spending a few minutes in the car with her in the mornings.
Probably the most important thing that I’ve realized is that I am lucky. I am so beyond lucky. I am also incredibly sheltered. Prostitution, Drugs, Involvement with the law. Sure, I knew that happened. But in MIDDLE SCHOOLS? In MOBILE COUNTY
This internship has been a wake up call- one that I probably needed. Today I can honestly say I am more thankful for the basic things I used to take for granted.
But more than anything else- it was confirmed that this is what I need to be doing with my life. Some days it is so hard being an intern because I don’t get to see things all the way through. ((For example, I know long after I leave here, I am going to be wondering about my sweet little friend that I took to school)). & believe me, some days I take all this shit home. It weighs heavy on my heart.
But that heavy heart has inspired me to be more involved in my community. I desperately want to be a foster parent (just ask Chris. This is an every day conversation), but I know that, especially being in school, it just isn’t feasible at this time. But that doesn’t mean I can’t do something. I am seriously looking in to getting involved in a Big Brothers Big Sisters program. Or finding something where I can volunteer/work/play and make a difference. It would probably be December before I can fully commit to something, but I am steadily gathering information to see what I want to do when the time comes. . If anybody has any ideas, suggestions, experience, I would love to hear about it.
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