My Easter Engagement!!!!

WE'RE ENGAGED!!! Ahh I am so excited. I literally could not be happier at this moment. & I cannot wait to share our engagement story with you!
If you are new to stalking my blog, and/or unfamiliar with how Chris & I became a couple, you may want to read my Recap blog. It tell the story of how 'we' became an 'us'

                           Pre-Engagement Week

Okay so this engagement has been a long time coming. It all started last September when Chris and I went to look for rings for the first time. As if I wasnt excited before then, thats when this engagement frenzy kicked into high gear. Even though, at that time, I knew that an engagement was not right around the corner.
Around February we went and looked at rings again & found one that we both loved! Though I remained hopeful for a ring before Mardi Gras, I knew that would be pretty unlikely. But it was at that time that I expressed my real desire to share the day with family and friends. It was important to me to be able to tell my family and future family in person!
So fast forward to about 2 weeks ago. I knew a ring was coming soon. Chris was acting strange almost every time he was home. I could tell he was (trying to be) sneaky. But last Thursday I KNEW something was up.

Lunch With Dad

Thursday afternoon when I came home from class, I was a bad, bad girl and took a little, tiny, itty bitty, peak at Chris's phone. (Opps) & I saw that he had been talking to my dad on and off all day. I wasnt going to say anything to him. I was going to let him think that he got one over on me. But it kind of backfired. Chris realized I moved his phone and I was busted. Opps, agian.

However, their lunch story is way too funny not to share with yall. You may have to just know Chris and my dad to fully appreciate this story, but its worth reading even if you dont know them.

So Chris calls my dad and asked him to lunch. They decided on Outback. Apparently neither of them realized that Outback is closed for lunch. So what is my dads suggestion? RAISIN' CANES! As soon as Chris said that I said "You did NOT ask my father if you could marry me at Raisin' Canes.... did you?" Chris just laughed. He did, in fact, ask my dad for my hand in marriage over a $5 chicken plate.

I think its great though. It's so fitting for the both of them. So laid back & non-confrontational. Chris did mention that when he brought up marriage my dad just laughed, looked around and said "I guess I should have thought of this before I asked you to come to Raisin Canes"

Terrorizing My Mother

Once I found out that Chris had lunch with Dad, I was on a mission to find out every little thing I could about the impending engagement. I called my mom like 10 times a day to quiz her about what she knew. Even though every time I called her she conveniently had something to do... Over the course of our multiple conversations, I mentioned to her that I thought I would get a ring on Easter. It all made sense that way; we would be with family, Chris would be home, we would be dressed cute, and Chris had already talked to Dad. Mom asked me if I was going to be disappointed if it didnt happen, and I told her that I would try to to be. But just in case I was right, I made a nail appointment & got my nails done Friday after work.

Engagement Morning



I woke up early on Easter to get ready for church. I curled my hair, did my make up, put on my dress & waited for Chris to come home. We had already planned to do an Easter Egg hunt for Mobley before church. So Chris hid the eggs that were filled with turkey and cheese, then asked me to bring Mobs outside to begin the hunt!

He was SO cute! He loved finding his eggs! After Mobley found all of his eggs, we took him inside, and Chris asked me to come help him clean up the yard. (We just left open eggs everywhere) We picked them up and the rest went like this:

Chris: You know you have an egg out here too

Me: Really? Is it a golden egg!

Chris: Yepp, it sure is. I cant believe you havent found it yet.

Me: *Frantically looks around* Where is it? Can we play hot/cold?

Chris: If you were an egg, where would you be?... Up a chickens butt, thats where..

Me: You are not being helpful. Can you please just *sees egg* YAY YAY YAY *brings egg to Chris* Can I open it, or should you maybe do this?

Chris: You can open it

Me: *Opens egg & finds candy inside* *looks disappointed*

Chris: Okay that wanst your real surprise *gets on one knee*

Okay okay, the rest you can imagine. He told me how much he loved me, and asked me to be his wife. I didnt cry, I just stood there and BOUNCED up and down over and over and over. After I said "YES!" I just squealed really loud and hugged him tight.

Then I SHOVED the ring on my finger (its too small, Ill get to that later...) & Hugged and kissed him some more. I literally just bounced around for about 5 minutes, realized I ruined my hair & started calling friends.

Post-Engagement Bliss

Whitney's Family

I wanted my parents to know first, but I decided telling them in person would be a lot more special. So I sent my mom, my sister, and my grandmother a text that said "I didnt get my ring. I dont want to talk about it. See you at church." I knew my family would think that I was going to be in a terrible mood and was probably upset that they were going to have to put up with me all day.

Once I called a few friends, we headed to church. I basically ran into church holding up my finger and pointing at my beautiful ring!

My mom was elated. I was so glad I didnt tell them over the phone. It was so exciting to see the looks on their faces when they saw that we were engaged. & It was even more exciting when my mom introduced Chris as my fiance. It really had not occured to me that he was my fiance until that moment. I was ecstatic all over!

After church (which was held at the fair grounds) Chris and I walked around May Fest & I ate a corndog. Yes, after my engagement, I wanted a damn corndog. Dont judge. It was delicious.

We went to my grandmothers for Easter lunch. All of my grandparents were there, and my family. It was so nice spending time with them while I was basking in my engagement bliss.

However, at this little luncheon, my mom wanted to try on my ring. Thats when I realized that it was really really too small. I cant get it off. I dont know what Im going to do. We tried EVERYTHING. So today starts the day where I drink lots and lots of water and take diet pills till my fingers shrink. Ha. I am NOT getting this cut off my hand. But I will have to get it resized as soon as I can get it off my finger.

Chris's Family

After lunch with my family, we went to Chris' aunt and uncle's house for an extended family gathering. We announced our engagement there and celebrated with his family... Well most of them, anyways. There was one HATER who told Chris that he is obviously getting paid too much if he could afford my ring. I felt like tell her to mind her own damn business, but I kept my cool & just chalked it up to the fact that she's jealous. Chris stood up for himself & me and told her that he had been saving for over 2 years for my ring and he wanted me to have something that I'd wear for the rest of my life. I love him so much. I am so happy with our relationship and now my gorgeous ring. Im so PROUD & excited to call him my FIANCE!!!

 For dinner that night his dad, Fred and his wife, Gayle cooked dinner for us at their house. Gayle's daughter was in town this weekend and was nice enough to buy us a bottle of champagne. I really enjoyed spending the day with everyone. Im glad they are accepting me into their family with open arms.

Other stuff

Thank you SO much to everyone who has congratulated us! We are SO SO excited about taking this step in our relationship.

People keep asking 'when is the big day' But we have NO clue yet. We are just enjoying each other and being newly engaged right now. We plan to get married sometime next year around spring or summer, but we will keep everybody up to date.

Nothing about our wedding as been decided yet. But trust me, I will start the planning SOON!

Bootcamp & Prenup

This morning at 7:45am I arrived at a Bodies By Cindy Bootcamp with Lindsay & Natalie. It was an incredible workout & I cant wait to go back! Im going to call this week and sign up for a 3x/week package. If anybody wants to go, they have free bootcamp on Saturday mornings! While I was there, I ran into my friend Gwen's husband, Jeremy. He said he's lost 70lbs in a year!!! He goes 4 times a week to bootcamp! As if I wasnt motivated before, that pushed me over the edge. Im ready to get my fat ass in shape! After today that is, because after bootcamp Linday, Natalie & I went to Waffle House. Dont judge me.

Last week I posted that I was working on a Pre-Nup for my Marriage & Family class. Ill post it here if youd like to read it, but beware, its pretty lengthy. Also keep in mind, some of this shit we really dont care about, but I had to answer certain questions for my assignment.

Endogamy

Which endogamous characteristics  are important and why?

 For Whitney: It is important to have a relationship with a white, middle to upper class man, who has or is in the process of obtaining at least a bachelor’s degree. It is important to have someone who “will share common beliefs, values, and experiences” (Newman, 2009, p. 206).

For Chris: It is important to marry a college educated, independent woman, ideally in the middle or upper class.

2. What happens if you receive social pressures (parents, friends, priest, etc.) to marry into an endogamous group that your spouse does not fit into?

 Whitney and Chris are lucky in that all family and friends support their relationship.

Cohabitation

1. Is it acceptable, not acceptable, or preferred? Why or why not?

 We both agree that living together before marriage is preferred. We intend to use cohabitation as a “testing ground for marriage” (Newman, 2009, p. 223).  

Communication Style

1. Which communication style is preferred for the relationship and why?        

  Our desired communication style is the vital marriage, as discussed in Newman’s text (2009). We will share “intimacy in all important aspects of life” (Newman, 2009, p. 218), but will not lose our separate identities.

Social Expectations

1. How is interdependence going to be acheived?                               

   Interdependence will be achieved because we depend on each other to provide “needed resources” (Newman, 2009, p.210). They both depend on each other for companionship, intimacy, friendship, and affection.

2.  How is equity going to be achieved?                                                

      Whitney and Chris both recognize that a relationship is constantly changing and may not be ever be completely equal. They are both committed to working on the relationship through whatever life throws their way. If someone is feeling under or over benefitted, they agree that the best thing to do is communicate openly about our feelings.

3. What kind of commitments are going to be made?   

    We are committed to a life-long journey together. To us, that means being devoted to our partner, making sacrifices when necessary, and continuing to invest, “maintain, and improve” our relationship for the rest of our lives. We are committed to each other’s overall well-being, including, but not limited to, our partner’s physical and mental health, education, career, family, and financial stability.

4. Is there a sense of permanence?

        When we take our vows, we expect them to be upheld until we are parted by death. Though we are not “morally opposed to divorce” (Newman, 2009, p. 213), we believe marriages are meant to last forever. We both acknowledge that every relationship takes work, and that there will be ups and downs throughout life. However, we are ready to meet the challenges together, and not give up by walking away.

5. What kinds of “couple” behaviors are expected?

        To us, being a “couple” means being a vital part of the other’s life; being a couple means developing an identity separate from our former ‘single’ selves, and transforming it to be something that can only exist when we are together. Though we both value our independence, being a couple means “thinking less in terms of ‘me and mine’ and more in terms of ‘we and ours’” (Newman, 2009, p. 215).      

Working situation

1. Stay at home parent/spouse or dual earning household? Why?                          While Whitney & Chris are in school, they will function as a dual earning household. Currently, Whitney works part time and goes to school full time, while Chris works full-time and is about to graduate. However, once Whitney graduates and Chris goes to Medical School, Whitney will work full-time to support the family, and Chris can work part time, as needed.

            Once they have children, it would be ideal to have Whitney stay at home while the children are young. Should it ever be necessary, or desired, to have a dual earning household, Whitney will go back to work.

2.  Domestic duties – How are the domestic duties going to be split up?

                          Cooking: While Chris is working shift work, he will be responsible for cooking dinner on the nights that he is off. Whitney will be responsible for making sure we groceries, and cooking on the nights that Chris is at work. Each person is responsible for their own breakfast, and lunch will be decided on a day to day basis.

                          Cleaning: Whitney is responsible for doing all household duties, unless she requests help from Chris, in which case, he will be obligated to help.  Whitney will do laundry as it is needed. Sheets will be washed once weekly. The house will be dusted, windexed, vacuumed, mopped and bathrooms cleaned every 7-10 days. Chris is responsible for taking out the trash. In addition, it will be Whitney’s responsibility to cut the grass as needed, and tend to the flowerbed. Chris will have the duties of weed eating and edging.

                          Managing Family Relationships: Whitney will be primarily responsible for remembering birthdays, sending Christmas cards, and planning family time with both families. Chris and Whitney will be individually responsible for calling/keeping in touch with their respective families. 

                           Pet Care: Whitney is responsible for feeding, bathing, and walking Mobley. She will also schedule and take Mobley to grooming, vet and training appointments. Chris is responsible for paying vet and grooming bills.

               

                        Whitney has taken on the majority of the domestic duties because she does not mind doing them. She enjoys cleaning, having a clean house, and keeping in touch with family. Chris is responsible for cooking because he enjoys doing so. Whitney also feels as if it is her contribution to the family to make sure we have a clean, organized and happy home.

Children

1.  How many children?  

We desire to have between 2-3 children.

2.  How many years apart?

  Ideally, the children would be more than 2, but less than 6 years apart.

3.  If infertility becomes a problem with reproducing, what measures will be taken and why ?             

   Because we know ahead of time that infertility will be a problem, we have decided to just “see what happens” over the next 3 years. If we become pregnant naturally, we will be elated. However, if we do not conceive over the next 3 years, we will try fertility treatment. Because in-vitro fertilization is so expensive, we will try for 2-3 cycles before we consider adoption.

            We have also discussed that even if we are able to have our own biological children, should we have the financial means, we would like to adopt.

            We have determined this because, though we would like to try all options to have a biological child, we really just want to be parents. We have decided on this time frame because at that point, Chris will be finished with his 2^nd year of Medical School and Whitney will have obtained her Master’s Degree.

A. What if infertility treatments lead to 3, 4, 5+ embryos?

Should infertility treatment lead to more than 3 embryos, Whitney and Chris would consult her Doctor for the best course of action. However, Whitney is against selective reduction unless she is at a high risk for death.

            If in-vitro fertilization let embryos that were not used by Whitney and Chris, and the desired number of children had been reached, they would donate the embryos to science. It has been decided that the embryos would not be available to be used be another couple.  

4. Who will be the primary caretaker? 
Raising children should be a joint effort. However, if Whitney is a stay at home mom, she will be primarily responsible for making sure children are cared for.

5. Hospital birth or home birth with midwife?  

Whitney desires a hospital birth with the use of drugs.

6. After desired number of children are reached, will you actively prevent more pregnancies?                                                                                                                       Though we both agree that we would like to actively prevent future pregnancies, we cannot agree who would undergo surgery. Whitney does not desire a hysterectomy and Chris does not desire a vasectomy. We have agreed that when the time comes, we will play Paper, Rock, Scissors to decide. (Best 2 out of 3)

Hope everybody has a Happy Easter!

The Good French Fries

On Tuesday and Thursdays Chris gets out of class at 10:45, and I dont have to be back to class until 12:30, so we usually try to meet  up with each other to have a quick lunch. This semester it's become part of our weekly routine; we dont even ask if we have having lunch together anymore. I've gotten accustomed to having that extra hour or so with Chris, so usually it isnt that big of a deal to me. However, this week, our little lunch outing was the highlight of my week.
We were having lunch at Big Time Diner, and I reached for a 'good' french fry on Chris' plate. (I like the slightly soggy french fry. I dont really care for the ones that are over cooked and hard or crispy) Anyway. Chris made a comment that he always saves the good ones for me, because he knows how much I like them. Even though it was a small gesture, it meant the world to me. He makes my heart smile. I dont know how I got so lucky to have him in my life, but I do know that I am grateful. I love him so much.
On Friday Chris was off work, and I got off early to spend a few minutes with him. When I got home from work we spent the afternoon hanging around the house. Then we went to dinner with Mike and Lori and some of her friends at Japanese Emperial. I was actually impressed with the sushi there- usually I dont care for sushi at hibachi places, but it was pretty good there!
Saturday morning I got up bright and early to get ready to go to the beach with Lindsay and Laura. First of all, Linds is terrible with directions. She pulled over on Knowlwood like 5 or 6 times before we finally found the right street... She had Mapquest directions printed out... It wasnt like we were lost or anything! haha. But regardless, we made it to the beach around 11:30. We decided it would be appropriate to start our beach adventure off with a bushwacker from Flora-Bama. Best decision I made all day! But, since I am a lightweight-and clumsy- I spilled like half of my $8 bushwacker! Fortunately for me, Laura didnt think she could handle her drink, so we switched. We finally made our way out to the beach and set up for the day. It was such a beautiful day... except that the wind was blowing sand everywhere. But by Bushwacker number 2, it was less of a problem!

I wasnt going to say this- but I know Linds is expecting to read it- I spilled my second bushwacker ALL over myself. & all over my chair. It was really classy, actually. By the 3rd bushwacker they were taking bets to see how long it would take me to spill. I thought that if I maybe drank my drink faster, I would have less time to make a mess. I know now that this was a bad idea, but at the time, it seemed perfectly logical. Needless to say, I had a pretty good buzz after my 3rd bushwacker.

Eventually, Laura got sick of the wind, so we decided to go get some food at Tacky Jacks. I had every intention of getting a buffalo shrimp wrap, but  in our drunken states, we ordered garbage nachos. This is the nachos AFTER we all devoured them.

After those nachos we decided not to even order food....

When we left Tacky Jacks we headed back to Mobile. I think I passed out after  3 minutes in the car, I dont even remember going through the Toll Bridge... I slept all the way home. Those bushwackers & a full day in the sun kicked my ass!

Sunday was Joshies 15th birthday. 

We had lunch at Mikatos with the whole family- Mimi, Josh, Me, Mom, Dad, Nana, & Pappy. (Apparently Lauren was too good to come to a family function. JayKay LaurLaur) It was actually a histerical event. Listening to Mom harass Josh about being 15, having a girlfriend, and having the sex talk was almost more than I could handle. At the end of the meal this occurred...

Mom: Everybody add "in the bed" to the end of your fortune!!!

Josh: Mine just says "Go Fly a Kite!" Thats a dumb fortune.

Mom: HAHAHAH Mine says "You will be rewarded for a job well done... IN THE BED!" HAHAHA

Pappy: I bet mine says "You cant win 'em all!"

Nana: You are so right! You CANT win 'em all!

Josh: *dies of embarrassment*

Me: Yall are being really loud... People can hear you...

Mom: HAHAHAH Mine says Im good in the bed!

Mimi: Mine says "You are your own destiny... in the bed..."

Everyone: *histerical laughter*

Josh: * rolls eyes*

Mom: Joshie, you can have my fortune if you want... *hands Josh her fortune*

Me: GOD MOM, I thought we were trying to PREVENT Sex!

Mom: Oh! Yeah, Youre right! GIVE ME THAT! *snatched fortune from Josh* Josh, you cant have sex.

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Yall wonder why I am so weird... Its genetic. I get it from my mother. Love you, Mom.

Pre-nup Planning

Okay so before anybody freaks out, we are definitely not signing a prenup. First I have no intent of ever getting a divorce (assuming we ever actually get married :p) and secondly, what would we fight over? Who gets Mobley on the weekends? Im thinking it would just be a whole lot easier, and happier, for us just to stay together forever. HOWEVER, For my Marriage & Family class we have to develop a prenup with our partners this week. I dont know how much Chris is going to enjoy doing this, but I've already had a lot of fun putting some thought into it. It really makes you examine every aspect of your relationship. And while I dont think its necessary by any account, I do think it'll be a good exercise for us. When we get it all finished Ill let yall read it and see what you think. :)

On another note, we had a really good week and weekend. Friday I stayed home and got caught up on some cleaning and laundry.
On Saturday, Chris and I just hung around the house for most of the day. It was good to have a lazy day- after going, going, going for the past 2 months it was much needed. Saturday evening we went to The Sportsman (probably the trashiest place Ive ever been.) Its basically a metal building in the middle of the woods- but they serve really really cheap alcohol. Chris ordered a Bud Light and a Madress and it was $5.25. So guys, if youre ever counting pennies and have to get out of the house- go to the Sportsman. But invest in some Febreeze- youll leave smelling like an ashtray. Oh well, Im glad we got to spend some time with Robert, its been too long since we've hung out with him.
After leaving the Sportsman, we went to Crooked Martini to meet up with Lindsay and her date, Brett. He seemed really nice, and we had a good time just relaxing and having a few drinks with friends.
On Sunday, I got to have lunch with my parents at Peking. It was like I was the only child :) Lauren was having her senior pictures taken & Josh was probably somewhere causing trouble with his girlfriend.
                                                    My favorite of Laurens Senior Pictures!

Anyways, Mom started telling me about this weird dream she had about somebody messing up her sheets- she dreamed that somebody put fruitloops in her bed and crunched them up. (Weirdo) It reminded me of something that happened to me Thursday night. I am a neatfreak, much like my mother; anyway, every night before bed, I have to get all of the wrinkles out of the sheets or I cant sleep. On Thursday, I was in a weird mood, and I ran and jumped into the bed, and slid my hands across the sheets. The goal here was to get all of the wrinkles off of my side. But when I slid, I STUCK MY HAND THROUGH THE SHEETS. If you got lost, let me rephrase. I ripped a GIANT hole into our 1000 count, Egyptian Cotton sheets... Fantastic. As I was telling my mom and dad this story, they started laughing, seemingly at me, until my dad looks at me and goes "Really? I did the exact same thing last week." WHO DOES THAT?! Apparently, only me and my dad. Maybe its genetic :)

I know this blog is already all over the place, but stick with me, I only have like 2 more things to say.

1. I almost got abducted by a creeper at Foosacklys. After I got back from the dentist this morning (and my entire right side of my face was numb) I was picking up lunch for my grandmother. And some old, bald man told me I was really pretty and asked me where I was going "all dressed up." Um, I was wearing sweatpants first of all. And secondly he got into a PLAIN WHITE VAN. To me, that just screams Bad News Bears. Chris said he probably got my tag number... so if I go missing, it was probably the bald man that drove a white van and likes girls with muscle movement in the left side of their face. Also, seriously, if I go missing, Im wearing black sweat pants and a green shirt. I wont change my clothes until somebody rescues me.

2. Chris has the most brilliant idea ever today. We were talking about our plans for Easter and he suggested an Easter Egg Hunt for Mobley! Okay, please, imagine how over the top I am anyways, and add that to the fact that I love my dog more than I do anything else in the whole world. I CANNOT WAIT! I am going to hide little plastic eggs filled with goodies all over the yard! Its going to be adorable. Im going to take like 1000 pictures, or invest in a camcorder. Now Im really excited about Easter. PS If Chris asks any of you what he can get me for Easter, I really need a new pair of flip flops. & PSS- Sorry you look like a Cat Mobley...

Metformin: My Frienemy & Other Weekly Happenings

So last week my doctor prescribed Metformin to help with my cysts and I started taking in on Monday. I was excited to try something new, but my excitement quickly turned to... sickness. I found out that my body does not like whatever it is metformin is doing to it. It made me pretty sick for the first 5 days, but the last 2 days have been much, much better. & for that, I am thankful.

I cant remember if it was Tuesday or Wednesday night, but whatever night it was, I was convinced somebody was trying to break into our house. I was home alone, and Mobley barked around 1:30 am. I freaked out, called Chris and he stayed on the phone with me while I checked the doors and windows. (But seriously, guys, what the hell would I do if somebody was breaking into my house? Im getting a gun, but Ill get to that later) I attempted to go back to bed, but every noise I heard made me that much more nervous. By about 2:35 I was on the verge of tears I was so scared. I finnally told Chris that I wanted to get out of the house- it didnt matter that it was the middle of the night. So I grabbed Mobley and ran to the car ( I realize that this is not logical now, but you couldnt have convinced me of that then...) and realized that I didnt have my contacts. So I frantically ran inside, put on my glasses and made the 40 minute drive to Satsuma at 3 am. Im glad Chris loves me, because I kept him up all night long. Even when I got to Satsuma I couldnt sleep. After staying awake all night, we decided to get an alarm system. Yay.

Friday morning I packed up me & Mobs & we went to Orange Beach with Mimi. Mimi and I did some grocery shopping, and played scrabble all night. Saturday Lindsay, Justin, Alisa, Rian, Sarah, Chris S. and Zoe all came to hang out with me at the beach. Im so glad they did- It was SUCH a beautiful day. Plus we got to take a trip to Flora Bama and drink a few bushwackers!

After everybody left I had a buzz from the bushwackers, and was drained by the sun, so I passed out on the couch to rest up for Sunday.

Sunday Chris and my family met us at the beach. We went straight to the boat launch and spent the whole day out on the water. It was so nice spending time with my family together, and being in the sunshine. & If you have never eaten at Pirates Cove, it is so awesome! They have a really good greesy cheeseburger & there are dogs running all around! Oh god I loved the dogs. I made so many doggy friends, Mobley would have loved it.
After we were good and sun burned, we headed back to the condo and spent the rest of the afternoon eating and playing cards together. It was a perfect perfect Sunday.

Chris and I got up early this morning and headed back to Mobile so we could both get back to work. & I got to ease back into the work week by having lunch with my long lost friend Vicky. Im really glad she asked me to lunch, it was good catching up with her. BUT She told me her house got broken into Thursday night (THE ONE I USED TO LIVE IN!!!!). Thankfully noone was home, but they stole all of their electronics. I hate hate hate that that happened to her. Even MORE reason to get a gun and an alarm.

And though today has had some great parts to it, its kind of been bittersweet. Alisa and Justin lost a dear friend of theirs, Glen, last night to a heart attack. Even though I didnt know him, its hard to hear when someone so young and so loved passes away. Its things like that that flip your world upside down. It makes you cherish the time you have with your loved ones, & forces you to remember to tell them that you love them. I cant help but thinking about Chad and his family today. I keep hearing the last call and remembering the pain of his funeral. God, even as I type this I can  feel the anxiety, saddness, fear, and anger rising up in my chest.
Whew. I need a break from this...

Ill end with saying this, I am so incredibly lucky to have such an amazing family and a wonderful group of friends. I know I am loved by you, and I hope you know that I love each and every one of you. My life just wouldnt be the same without you all in it. Thank you for giving me so many memories and so much love and support in everything I do. I look forward each day to making a lifetime of memories with all of you.