Dear God [[Thats not QUITE what I meant]]

Dear God,
     Remember that time a few years back, when I was younger and dumber and missed a day or so of birth control? I remember. It resulted in a moment or so of panic. I recall saying the exact words "Oh God, please dont let me be pregnant". Well, God, I feel like I need to clear some things up. See, maybe I wasnt specific enough. What I meant was- "Please God, dont let me be pregnant this time." I did not mean "Please God, dont let me be pregnant ever." Glad we had this little chat. Now if you could just clear up these ovarian cysts & take away the pain forever that would be fantastic. Peace out, God. XOXO, Whitney

     Okay Okay. Maybe Im being a tiny bit dramatic. I dont actually remember missing birth control. I took that shit seriously. No matter how bad the pain is, I think the worst part is knowing that I have fertility issues. I dont want kids right now, but in the next 2 or 3 years, that would be a real possibility for us. I know its dumb to feel this way, but I almost  feel guilty knowing that I may not be able to provide Chris (and myself) with the family that I know we both want. Thats a ways away though.  Right now though, it frustrates me to no end when I have pain so bad that I miss out on life- like when I have to leave work, school, or spend hours of our vacation laid up in bed, curled up in a ball. After missing out last weekend, I finally decided to call my doctor, again. (Not like that has actually done any good in the past, but it was better than banging my head against the wall like I have been doing)
     To my surprise, I actually got a tiny bit of help from my doctor today. I told him about the stabbing pains, the 'im-going-to-cut-my-own-ovaries-out" moments, & the nagging dull pain that never goes away. I also told him that my other doctor put me on Metformin last March, and that seemed to help for a while. His solution was to increase my dose from 500mg/ day to 1000mg/day and eventually to 2000mg/day. If that doesnt work, he wants to try birth control again, which Im not really thrilled about but Ill try anything at this point. The only downside I see to this is the terrible side effects of Metformin. He told me to expect the same vicious GI problems I had the first go round. (Remember this post?- Metformin, My Frienemy.) Oh goodie. But on the upside, he finally agreed to prescribe a pain pill that might actually work. Last time he gave me glorified Tylenol that didnt touch the pain. I told him today that he had to do better than that. Today he gave me Nucynta. Im not really sure exactly what it is, but my doctor told me that it would take away the pain like Loretabs, but wouldnt make me loopy or knock me out. Thus, I can take this new wonder drug & function at school and work- hopefully.
     Anybody that cares, I'll keep you updated on how this new regimen works. Mom & Dad (and any other family members that may be reading this post) I was totally kidding about the first part of this blog, please dont call and lecture me about how that is not funny to joke about that kind of stuff. I mean, it was kind of funny...

Metformin: My Frienemy & Other Weekly Happenings

So last week my doctor prescribed Metformin to help with my cysts and I started taking in on Monday. I was excited to try something new, but my excitement quickly turned to... sickness. I found out that my body does not like whatever it is metformin is doing to it. It made me pretty sick for the first 5 days, but the last 2 days have been much, much better. & for that, I am thankful.

I cant remember if it was Tuesday or Wednesday night, but whatever night it was, I was convinced somebody was trying to break into our house. I was home alone, and Mobley barked around 1:30 am. I freaked out, called Chris and he stayed on the phone with me while I checked the doors and windows. (But seriously, guys, what the hell would I do if somebody was breaking into my house? Im getting a gun, but Ill get to that later) I attempted to go back to bed, but every noise I heard made me that much more nervous. By about 2:35 I was on the verge of tears I was so scared. I finnally told Chris that I wanted to get out of the house- it didnt matter that it was the middle of the night. So I grabbed Mobley and ran to the car ( I realize that this is not logical now, but you couldnt have convinced me of that then...) and realized that I didnt have my contacts. So I frantically ran inside, put on my glasses and made the 40 minute drive to Satsuma at 3 am. Im glad Chris loves me, because I kept him up all night long. Even when I got to Satsuma I couldnt sleep. After staying awake all night, we decided to get an alarm system. Yay.

Friday morning I packed up me & Mobs & we went to Orange Beach with Mimi. Mimi and I did some grocery shopping, and played scrabble all night. Saturday Lindsay, Justin, Alisa, Rian, Sarah, Chris S. and Zoe all came to hang out with me at the beach. Im so glad they did- It was SUCH a beautiful day. Plus we got to take a trip to Flora Bama and drink a few bushwackers!

After everybody left I had a buzz from the bushwackers, and was drained by the sun, so I passed out on the couch to rest up for Sunday.

Sunday Chris and my family met us at the beach. We went straight to the boat launch and spent the whole day out on the water. It was so nice spending time with my family together, and being in the sunshine. & If you have never eaten at Pirates Cove, it is so awesome! They have a really good greesy cheeseburger & there are dogs running all around! Oh god I loved the dogs. I made so many doggy friends, Mobley would have loved it.
After we were good and sun burned, we headed back to the condo and spent the rest of the afternoon eating and playing cards together. It was a perfect perfect Sunday.

Chris and I got up early this morning and headed back to Mobile so we could both get back to work. & I got to ease back into the work week by having lunch with my long lost friend Vicky. Im really glad she asked me to lunch, it was good catching up with her. BUT She told me her house got broken into Thursday night (THE ONE I USED TO LIVE IN!!!!). Thankfully noone was home, but they stole all of their electronics. I hate hate hate that that happened to her. Even MORE reason to get a gun and an alarm.

And though today has had some great parts to it, its kind of been bittersweet. Alisa and Justin lost a dear friend of theirs, Glen, last night to a heart attack. Even though I didnt know him, its hard to hear when someone so young and so loved passes away. Its things like that that flip your world upside down. It makes you cherish the time you have with your loved ones, & forces you to remember to tell them that you love them. I cant help but thinking about Chad and his family today. I keep hearing the last call and remembering the pain of his funeral. God, even as I type this I can  feel the anxiety, saddness, fear, and anger rising up in my chest.
Whew. I need a break from this...

Ill end with saying this, I am so incredibly lucky to have such an amazing family and a wonderful group of friends. I know I am loved by you, and I hope you know that I love each and every one of you. My life just wouldnt be the same without you all in it. Thank you for giving me so many memories and so much love and support in everything I do. I look forward each day to making a lifetime of memories with all of you.