Dear God [[Thats not QUITE what I meant]]

Dear God,
     Remember that time a few years back, when I was younger and dumber and missed a day or so of birth control? I remember. It resulted in a moment or so of panic. I recall saying the exact words "Oh God, please dont let me be pregnant". Well, God, I feel like I need to clear some things up. See, maybe I wasnt specific enough. What I meant was- "Please God, dont let me be pregnant this time." I did not mean "Please God, dont let me be pregnant ever." Glad we had this little chat. Now if you could just clear up these ovarian cysts & take away the pain forever that would be fantastic. Peace out, God. XOXO, Whitney

     Okay Okay. Maybe Im being a tiny bit dramatic. I dont actually remember missing birth control. I took that shit seriously. No matter how bad the pain is, I think the worst part is knowing that I have fertility issues. I dont want kids right now, but in the next 2 or 3 years, that would be a real possibility for us. I know its dumb to feel this way, but I almost  feel guilty knowing that I may not be able to provide Chris (and myself) with the family that I know we both want. Thats a ways away though.  Right now though, it frustrates me to no end when I have pain so bad that I miss out on life- like when I have to leave work, school, or spend hours of our vacation laid up in bed, curled up in a ball. After missing out last weekend, I finally decided to call my doctor, again. (Not like that has actually done any good in the past, but it was better than banging my head against the wall like I have been doing)
     To my surprise, I actually got a tiny bit of help from my doctor today. I told him about the stabbing pains, the 'im-going-to-cut-my-own-ovaries-out" moments, & the nagging dull pain that never goes away. I also told him that my other doctor put me on Metformin last March, and that seemed to help for a while. His solution was to increase my dose from 500mg/ day to 1000mg/day and eventually to 2000mg/day. If that doesnt work, he wants to try birth control again, which Im not really thrilled about but Ill try anything at this point. The only downside I see to this is the terrible side effects of Metformin. He told me to expect the same vicious GI problems I had the first go round. (Remember this post?- Metformin, My Frienemy.) Oh goodie. But on the upside, he finally agreed to prescribe a pain pill that might actually work. Last time he gave me glorified Tylenol that didnt touch the pain. I told him today that he had to do better than that. Today he gave me Nucynta. Im not really sure exactly what it is, but my doctor told me that it would take away the pain like Loretabs, but wouldnt make me loopy or knock me out. Thus, I can take this new wonder drug & function at school and work- hopefully.
     Anybody that cares, I'll keep you updated on how this new regimen works. Mom & Dad (and any other family members that may be reading this post) I was totally kidding about the first part of this blog, please dont call and lecture me about how that is not funny to joke about that kind of stuff. I mean, it was kind of funny...